The New Year

Dear readers,
I have an announcement that several of you already know - I have moved to Michigan! I received several promotion offers to choose from, and ended up transferring into a supervisory position in Grand Rapids, Michigan right before Christmas. What does that mean for you? Not much. What does that mean for me? Getting rid of almost everything I own, driving across the country, freezing my butt off scraping ice and snow off the car, and drinking so much hot tea to stay warm that I need to pee every thirty minutes.

And I've also started baking again. Yup, turns out the reason why I wasn't baking in Florida was because I only bake when I'm freezing and I want to warm up the apartment via oven and myself via food. I made fudgey brownies about a week and a half ago, and today, I am attempting lemon poppy-seed quick bread. Both were premixed boxes, but any baking is better than no baking.

My move also means I have to make friends again. The more I think about it, I've always had to make and remake friends my entire life. When I was little, I went to a private daycare, then a Catholic school until second grade, then a public school, then middle school, then high school, then college across the country, then my move to NJ searching for employment, then my move to Florida for my first 'real job', and now my promotion to Michigan. So I should have good friend making skills, right?

Wrong. I spent all day trying to start conversations with people, telling my waitress to ask solo diners if they want to join my table, and even downright asking someone to be my friend. Nope. At least I know my neighbors and coworkers, so I'm not completely devoid of human interaction. In fact, I really like my neighbors and their friends, and I could probably survive without other friends for a while longer before I go crazy.

I'm also lucky in the fact I have a wonderful boyfriend who lives six hours away - which means one or two weekends a month or so I should have human interaction with a very attractive male who is interested in me and interested in spending time with me. But I don't want to rely too much on that being my only source of fun 'cause that sounds like a recipe for being overly dependent which doesn't sound super appealing to me, especially since this relationship is still quite young.

So, readers, I am gathering up the courage to go out and try to find friends again in a few hours, by myself once again. I can't say that I've ever had the courage to go into a bar by myself before, but if this will help me plant my feet better, I might be able to try it.

Why am I so nervous? Well, I am a lightweight - and when I am nervous, I drink quickly. Also, I am looking for friends, not one night stands or even a relationship (already have one of those, thanks). Girls at bars tend to be clique-y and I've never been good at integrating into those. And what if I spend all night talking to people, having some fun, and then no one exchanges numbers or makes plans to see me again, or what if I'm turned down flat asking to be friends AGAIN?!

That's what makes me uncomfortable with this idea. Plus I only go to the bar if my friends want to go, it's expensive and loud, and I'm trying to cut back on alcohol consumption.

What did I do to make friends in Florida? I went to the public market (the one here is tiny since it's winter and its too cold), I went to public yoga classes (the ones here are very expensive and I turned my living room into my own yoga studio), and I hung out with coworkers (the ones here are nice, but have families or something turns me off from getting too close to them).

So what will I end up doing tonight? Who knows. Wish me luck!
Molly V

P.S. Of course, I still love all my long-distance friends, thank you for all your support and texts and calls and Skype-ing!!!!