Perspectives, Anecdotes, and Plain Old Random-ness

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Thursday, February 10, 2011

February 10, 2011 4:47 PM

Good afternoon!

OK, so here's the past week - yes, I'm behind again....

Wednesday and Thursday morning were fantastic. Thursday afternoon, I had a talk with my boss - which resulted in me taking the next two weeks off and then going back to being a regular student employee instead of a student supervisor. I know I made the right decision, but my bank account is going to be wincing at my lower paychecks...

Friday, I kept to my promise of not going over to the boys' place - in fact, I tried to get together a group to go to laser tag. It ended up being just me and Tony, so we went to Wegmans, bought some sushi, went back to my place, and watched music videos.

And yes, I ate some raw fish - can't say I felt too peachy afterwards, though.... (1st time not being vegan in the new year!)

Saturday, I went to the market with Laura, and we bought a ton of squash! Then, we went over to her place and made 3-squash soup (kinda a mix of 2-3 recipes and whatever we felt like adding) while dancing in the kitchen and drinking Christmas tea. I definitely needed that, and I still have some of that soup in the fridge (needs to be eaten...).

Sunday, I went to church (feeling guilty that I didn't go last week), and then I got some work done. Around 2:30 PM, I headed towards the auditorium on campus. You see, I used to be a member of the RIT Singers, but then I dropped it after the director changed a year ago and informed me that I wasn't allowed to try out for the solo since I was going to miss two practices.

But I went to the concert on Sunday and watched them perform - kinda surprised at how many people I still knew who were involved. Then I went out for coffee to catch up with my 'best Singers' friend and her boyfriend. She's doing well, and if anyone reading this remembers 'E' with curly blonde hair - that's who I'm talking about!

The rest of the week has been pretty dull - and I've been sleeping and doing homework a lot. Since I don't have to get up at 5:30 AM for work any more, I've been sleeping a little later and then getting up at 7am instead. I'm much more productive in the morning than at night, and I'm more likely to get ahead on my work now than before.

I guess saving something for the night before isn't so bad if you've worked on it the morning before the night before.

I went onto Joanna's blog and dug up this old recipe that she suggested. I went and veganized it for Tuesday night - when Margie and I were in a major Chocolate Therapy fix.
http://unansweredunasked.blogspot.com/2010/08/3-minute-chocolate-fix.html

As for that - if you've heard anything about what is up with Margie, don't post it so anyone can read it. Honestly, guys, it's her problem (and maybe mine), but it shouldn't be the latest hot gossip. I don't care if you are taking her side or whatever, but it's not something that should be brought up ever again - even if she does get in the mood to talk about it.

And right now, she'd probably kill you for mentioning it - even if you took her side.

And Joanna, that cake was fast, cheap, and filling like you wouldn't believe! Not as decadent as I've had before, but still something worthwhile!

Unless you happen to be terrified of microwaves.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

February 2, 2011 4:47 PM

Good afternoon!

I haven't posted in a while, and a lot has happened. You may want to grab a cup of coffee before you sit down to read the rest of this.

Thursday was a decent day - and since nothing of too much importance happened, I'll skip over it.

Friday - what a day indeed.... On Friday, I met with my Marketing professor - he was late, but I didn't mind. We went over my work, and I asked why he had given me an "Early Alert" if I wasn't failing the class.

He told me that my Marketing group had given me extremely low ratings and told him that I was a total dead-weight. In fact, they were planning on cutting me from the group.

He said a lot of other things, but that was the main point that was stuck in my head for the rest of the day. All I could think was, "Gee, and here I was hoping to get all A's this quarter to pull up my GPA... and it's ruined..." I rushed around trying to find someone that would take me to the meeting that night, and I desperately emailed my group members asking for a ride.

I got a response from one of them that the meeting had been moved to Sunday at 6pm on campus. Well, at least they told me, right? That had to mean that there is hope. I pushed my Spec ID project to the side and focused on Marketing all Friday night and all day Saturday. Finally, on Saturday evening, I needed a break and someone to talk to.

I asked Jersey when he would get off work, and he told me 8pm and that Tony could pick me up when he picks up Jersey. I grabbed my coat at 8pm and went outside to wait for them to show up. I didn't want to stick around in the apartment for too long because no one was home and the silence was eating me. I needed to talk to someone, soon.

Minutes inched by. I checked the mail. Nothing important. I talked to a guy who was heading off to a party to get drunk. He invited me along - but I turned him down. I really, really wanted to talk to Jersey. The guy left. I pushed the snow around my feet into small piles and considered going inside for a thicker pair of shoes. The guy came back to fetch the vodka he'd forgotten in his car. We made small talk again, and he told me to come inside - at least for a little bit so I didn't freeze. I turned him down.

At around 8:30 PM, I was still waiting, and he came back again. He told me that everyone inside was worried about me and I was getting really pale. He told me that no friend was worth waiting half an hour for in the snow. I shook my head and told him I'd go into my apartment to wait. He left. I waited outside.

Margie pulled up at 8:35 PM and asked if I wanted to go see a movie with her. She went inside to put some stuff away, and I followed her inside. We talked about what movies were playing, and I rubbed my hands anxiously to warm them up. Once I was about to agree, Jersey showed up at the door. The first thing he said was that he couldn't go to the movies since Matt was making Taco Stuffed Shells at home.

I told Margie that I was going over to the guys' place for a little while, but as soon as they were done eating, I'd call her and we'd go to the movies. She said OK, though she looked a little sad. I made a mental note to watch the time so we could grab a show together.

When we stepped outside, Lauren was in the car. Don't get me wrong - I love her to death, and she and Jersey make a cute couple. But I was really disappointed. I wanted to talk to Jersey, not the 'Jersey-Lauren Unit'. But that explained why they were late - they had to pick her up.

I shot Jersey a quick glare for not telling me she was coming (and, yeah, I was a bit ticked that she was coming, but I hadn't specifically told him that I needed to talk to him alone, so the glare was short). I crawled into the back seat and focused on warming up my hands and my feet.

I forget who said it first. It doesn't really matter. But quickly, it was apparent that the three of them (Tony and the Unit) had spent the past half an hour 'hanging out' in the dorms 'doing nothing, really'. Coincidentally, it was the same half hour that I had spent lonely, in the cold, shivering, while a random stranger had worried more about me than my supposed best guy friend.

I remember Lauren asking me why I was so quiet. I told her I was still cold and not feeling too good. She nodded and left me alone after that. She was really nice and sweet about it, and I hated feeling that her relationship with Jersey was to blame. But really, if she had known that I wanted to talk to Jersey, she would have left us alone. She's a really good girl.

Jersey hardly said a word to me. I think my short glare had ticked him off.

By 9:30 PM, the shells weren't done cooking, so I texted Margie, telling her that dinner wasn't ready for the boys (and Lauren) yet. We'd have to watch a movie another time, was that OK? She replied that it was fine, but I felt guilty when I remembered how excited she was about going out that night. I reluctantly sat down with the gang for dinner and munched on my almonds (I'd already kinda eaten).

Mike came home for the first time in a long time, and he ate dinner with 'us'. He asked why I was quiet, and I think I gave him the same answer I had given Lauren. I tossed some almonds at him like a furtive squirrel, and that made everyone laugh. I started feeling a little better - Mike does that to people (or at least me).

I was still angry at Jersey though - for at least not warning me that they'd be late and ignoring me. I should have gone with Margie to the movies instead. But instead I sulked after Mike left and grew angrier. And then I took it out on him - in front of Lauren. I called him names and hit him (not hard) once or twice. I also insulted Tony a bit too, but he's used to it and could tell that something was wrong.

Eventually, Matt and Tony put me on the couch away from Jersey and I fell asleep on Matt. Partway through the night, I woke up and realized that Jersey and Lauren were curled up on the floor under a blanket together. I wandered into his room and fell asleep on his bed (since he wasn't using it).

I woke up a fair bit later, and Jersey and Lauren were gone. Apparently, Jersey (who doesn't really practice the Jewish faith) had gone to church with Lauren. Tony was sitting on the couch doing homework, and I curled up next to him and zoned out for a while. Eventually, he drove me home.

I spent a few hours working on my Marketing stuff again - and then went to the library at 3pm. I worked non-stop on Marketing all the way through 6pm - and wondered where my Marketing group was. At around 6:30 PM, one of them showed up. I had gone past the angry stage and was just tired and sad - I guess it was 'show-up half an hour late weekend' and I hadn't gotten the memo. I helped her on her portion of the project (I'd finished mine), and two more of our group members trickled in. They made small talk, and I didn't say much.

I'm pretty sure that they aren't going to kick me out - I did a lot more of the project than I should have, and one of the other members didn't show up. I offered to do some more, but they said it was fine. I continued to work on the project - doing small things like altering the tables to be more legible and stuff. After a while, I asked Tony to bring me some Chinese food - and I promised to pay him back.

When he brought the stuff, I was running out of things to do, and I asked the group if I could leave. They said it was fine, and I headed out to Tony's car. I crawled in and asked if I could come over to his place. He said it was fine, and we talked some on the way over.

Urug was already there and was working on the Spec ID project that was due Tuesday. Instead of working on that, I hung around and took it easy. Jersey didn't say much the whole time, except for occasionally calling me names and telling me how terrible I had been to him the night before. I apologized.

After a while, he went to bed (he hadn't gotten much sleep the night before), and Urug took me home. I went straight to bed and resolved to work on my Spec ID in the morning. And I did. In fact, I spent a large portion of Monday trying to solve the unknowns I had to present on Tuesday afternoon. In the evening, I went over to Jersey's place again to work on them with him and Urug. Jersey had already done all of his, and Urug was making good progress.

I solved two of the unknowns (and neither Jersey or I blew up at each other), and then I got stuck on the final one. I had the structure mostly figured out, so I decided to take a break.

Bad idea.

Jersey got angry at me - and not just 'Molly, do your work *sigh*' angry. Like, actually pissed off angry. And I got fed up with it. I said, "It's 11:30 PM, and I have work in the morning. I need to go home and get some sleep - I'll finish it in the morning, OK?" I always have extra time at work, and I was really close to the answer.

He was still ticked off, so Tony drove me and Urug home. Urug told me that I should probably work on my last problem a little more tonight, but I ignored him in favor of sleep.

Tuesday morning at work, I spent three hours working on that last problem, and I decided on the molecule that was most likely the answer. I worked out how I would present my solution, and I recorded it all on a piece of paper.

In Marketing, I pulled my professor aside and told him that I had made up with my group. He said it wasn't really his problem, but he was glad to know.

In Spec ID, I watched the first three presentations. Urug was one of them, and he did a good job. Then there was a five minute break before my presentation. Jersey still hadn't spoken to me.

I bombed the presentation. Urug couldn't even look me in the eye afterwards. He told me later that it sounded like I had just guessed the structure and then proved it was right. The professor tried to help me along, asking questions about everything, but I stumbled over basic terminology and couldn't remember what was on my paper.

I had sunk to a new all-time low.

When I got home, I decided to give VegAnn a call. I needed to talk to someone who still believed in me, who would talk to me, someone who I could still consider a friend.

She picked up on the first ring.

We spoke for almost an hour, about everything from Jersey to where we planned on living in the future. She made me laugh, she listened to me cry, and she promised me that everything would be fine. And when she says it, you know it's true.

At the end of our conversation, I told her she had made my day. After we hung up, we each went to make a cup of tea, and I could almost picture her standing over her teapot in her kitchen.

I went to class after that.

Half an hour into class, I got a text message. I was really starting to hate this whole half-an-hour thing, and I almost deleted it without looking at it. Almost.

It was Laura - and she wanted go to the Korean place for dinner as soon as I got out of class. I immediately told her that it might be another hour until then.

She said that was fine. She joked about saving up her hunger so she could order extra.

When I got out of class, she was waiting for me, and we picked up her sister before heading to the restaurant. Turns out, she had noticed that I looked terrible and was having 'one of those days'. So she and her sister had decided to take me out and cheer me up. They listened to me tell about my week, they told their own stories, and then they made me laugh. Our usual waiter wasn't there, but the waitress who was there recognized us anyways. She told a few jokes and gave excellent service.

At the end of dinner, we sat around chatting for a while, and Laura picked up the tab - refusing to let me pay for my portion. At this point, I was feeling like a whole new person, and I was thrilled and so thankful that they had done this for me. I hadn't even realized how upset I had been until I cheered up.

This morning, I woke up full of energy, having slept peacefully for the first time in almost a week. I had even dreamed - without nightmares. I made myself breakfast and started working editing my resumes (multiple ones for different types of jobs). I went to class early, paid attention, and picked up a job searching magazine. At work, I organized more resume stuff, took care of some unfinished business, and requested that Laura be promoted to manager.

Turns out she's already high on the promotion list. Go figure.

I went to meet with Catherine about business stuff - and told her everything. Both my side and Jersey's (as best as I could figure it out). We both sympathized with him. We talked about my Marketing group. We both were thrilled that it had resolved itself fine. We talked about the business I had come to talk about. We both sighed, relieved that it was coming to a close nicely.

Once I got home, I made a list of things I needed to do (some relaxing things, some work things). I decided that even if I get kicked out of the Honors Program for a low GPA, I'll still have an impressive resume. I'll still get a job. I'll be fine. And whatever grade is given to me in Spec ID - I deserve it. I was a wreck, and I know it.

Jersey, I know that you were stressed this past weekend. I called you names in front of your girlfriend, and I am very sorry for that. I was rude to you when you were low on sleep and extremely stressed, and I am very sorry. I thought only of myself, and I said and did many things that I am not proud of. I am sorry.

I won't be coming over to your place for a while. I think we've both had enough of my childishness for a while.

As for the rest of you, thank you for being my friends. If you ever need to call someone (like I did VegAnn), please call me. I'd love to do even a tenth of what she did for me this Tuesday. And if you ever look down and out, I'll buy you coffee or dinner or lunch or whatever meal is most appropriate at that time of the day. I'll listen to you talk. I'll be Laura and Nancy.

And now, I think it is time to make some stuffed bell peppers for dinner (and lunch for the next week).