April 27, 2011 4:53 PM

An Ode to the Potato

Several things led to this piece. We were struck with beautiful weather today, but it was not quite sunny enough to lay in the grass and sleep peacefully, ignoring all the ants and insects that creep and crawl and the moist dirt soaking through the apron I had picked out to lie on. So I ventured inside and began to read my book, “The Art of Eating” by M. K. Fisher on the couch closest to the window. As I read, I grew hungry, and this led me to discover that I had exactly 5 mushrooms, 2 zucchinis, and 5 red potatoes. Forgoing the concept of ‘supper’ for ‘snack-time’, I tossed a chopped potato into the oven and sat back on the couch, suddenly thinking about writing my own book (or at least pieces of one) involving food and my opinions on it. You know, because I obsess so much about food already.

And thus, this ode was begun.

Think back on the last time you ate a potato. Was it French fries at lunch? Or a steaming pancake covered in applesauce and sour cream? How about tater tots or hash browns at breakfast? Or did you eat a baked potato last night, toppings spilling over the sides? I want you to picture this meal, snack, or bag of chips and think about the rest of the meal. Were there people there? Friends? Family? What else did you have with it? Ketchup? Onions? When was this meal? Today? A week ago?

Now think about the last time you cooked with a potato – was it this year? Last year? What did you do with it? Boiled, mashed, cut into wedges – there are so many things to do with this simple tuber. I have had potato dumplings covered in onions and peppers, pierogies soaked in sour cream, potatoes drenched in oil with a little salt and pepper, crispy potatoes, crunchy potatoes, mushy potatoes, steaming potatoes, curried potatoes, potatoes with dill, potatoes and apples – the list goes on!

Take a step back from picturing these dishes and focus on the brownish lump that started all of this. Potatoes are dirt cheap, and they look like chunks of soil, packed together from years of growing in a small, condensed area. They are hard, and I’ve thrown them as balls on multiple occasions. Occasionally, there are small sections of sprouts on them, little ‘eyes’ peeking through. Potatoes come in a variety of shapes and colors, but they are always dull, boring little roots.

Why is that? I’ve just listed many dishes that are vibrant and make my mouth water, and these few are just the tip of the iceberg. Is it because I’ve grown up with them? Spent so many days surrounding potatoes that I just grew to accept them as part of life? Maybe it’s their appearance that does that – never brightly colored like carrots or radishes. Maybe it’s the fact that they have to be cooked before eaten – like rhubarb.

Potatoes keep forever, silently growing in your pantry or cupboards. All you have to do is cut out the pieces that are discolored or sprouting, and the potato is good to go. Potatoes are good for you too. So why is this kitchen staple so boring? I mean, come on! They are the perfect food for starving, poor college students – cheap, last forever, and can go in anything – and they hardly require any effort in the kitchen unless you want to do up something fancy like homemade dumplings. Even grating raw potato for hash browns takes less than 15 minutes by hand.

Think back to that meal you had – wasn’t it good? Did the chips snap perfectly in your mouth? Did the potato disintegrate in your mouth as you tasted your first spoonful of soup? Was the texture something enjoyable? Could you taste the potato-y-ness of it? Did the cheese stick to your fingers when you put the chili fry in your mouth? Did the fry retain its crisp texture despite a thorough soaking in chili and cheese?

Perhaps this isn’t an ode to the potato. Maybe I just want a reason to celebrate the potato – for all of its hard work, day to day, feeding millions. I can’t think of a week where I went without eating a potato – I can’t even comprehend such a period of time! What would Mondays be without a bag of chips, Tuesdays with no fries, Wednesdays with no chick pea-potato curry, Thursdays without a baked potato wrapped in foil in my bag as I run out the door? And where would the weekend be without fresh potato pancakes at the market, dripping applesauce through the paper plate? How would I enjoy something crisp and salty if there wasn’t a satisfying crunch behind it? What would I put in the thin watery broth to make soup feel filling?

Sure, I may not have a giant bag of potatoes with me wherever I go, but I’m constantly eating them. And you are too - what would gluten-free snacks have if there wasn’t potato starch? What would Thanksgiving be like without mashed potatoes? What would go with burgers if not fries or chips? What’s a steak without a baked potato? How would Lithuanians live if there was no kugelis (potato casserole) or cepellini (potato dumplings)? Would the national food switch to stuffed cabbage?

And, most importantly, how else would vegans like me eat in the afternoon when their food supply has dropped below the acceptable amount? If the humble, loving potato wasn’t around, I’d only have mushrooms and zucchini – is that even a meal? But add in the starchy hero, and now there are endless possibilities – fry them all and drench with barbeque sauce, cook them up into a pancake, stuff them and bake, boil the potatoes and have a side of veggies…

Or forget the veggies and just make some wedges drenched in ketchup.